please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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