I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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