omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
