I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
