You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
