question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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