Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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