So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
