I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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