Screwed.edu
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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