I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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