oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
