Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
