Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
