i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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