Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
