Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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