Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
