Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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