Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
