How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
