Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Randomize
