did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think i have two assholes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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