At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
