He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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