the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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