imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
