Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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