Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
