Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
