We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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