You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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