I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize