Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
