Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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