It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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