I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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