discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
