I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
don't judge my taste in strippers
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
