what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
