Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
