The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
