I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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