I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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