I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
