He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
