You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
