He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have fence marks all over my body
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
