My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
