if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
