just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
