We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
