I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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