I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
