My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
