Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
