I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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