idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
