just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
