Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
