yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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