youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
