Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
